Supporting Loved Ones
Supporting someone you care about can feel heavy. You don’t have to carry it alone.
Support for yourself
Supporting someone who is struggling with substance use or mental health starts with taking care of yourself. It’s easier to stay patient, calm, and caring when your own needs are met.
Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.
Things that can help:
- Set realistic expectations for yourself and your loved one
- Take breaks when you need them
- Reach out to your own support network
- Remember it’s not your job to “fix” everything
- Recognize how stress affects you
- Use coping tools that work for you such as mindfulness, grounding, journaling, movement, therapy
- Protect your physical health by staying active, eating well, getting enough sleep
- Recharge so you can take care of you
Online support groups for friends and family
Connecting with others who understand what you’re going through can offer comfort, encouragement, shared experiences.
Supporting a loved one
Keep these points in mind when supporting someone who is struggling with mental health, substance use, and crisis situations:
- You can support, but you can’t control. Your loved one decides when they’re ready for help.
- Connection matters more than perfection. Kindness, consistency, and non-judgment go farther than “the right” words. Just being there and listening goes a long way.
- Curiosity beats confrontation. Open-ended questions like “How are you feeling?” or “What might help?” reduce defensiveness.
- Boundaries protect relationships. Saying “I care about you, and I can’t ___” keeps relationships safe and sustainable.
- You deserve support too. Your needs are just as important as theirs.
Conversation starters and check-in tips:
- Talking to a friend: Seize the Awkward; How to Help a Friend
- Talking to your kid: Sound It Out Together; Talk to your Child about their Mental Health
- Talking to teens about mental health
- Being a trusted adult
- Finding youth and young adult resources
- Helping your child and your family
Explore support strategies for addiction mental health
Addiction or substance use concerns
Addiction or substance use concerns
Supporting someone through addiction can be confusing and hard. A few guiding principles help:
What helps
- Learn about the signs of addiction
- Show concern without shame or blame
- Stay calm and nonjudgmental
- Offer support for safer use or treatment, based on their goals
- Celebrate small steps
- Protect your own boundaries
What doesn’t help
- Threats or ultimatums (unless for your safety)
- Arguing when they’re under the influence
- Trying to control their use
- Taking on responsibility for their choices
Learn more:
Mental health challenges
Mental health challenges
Mental health struggles like depression, anxiety, trauma, or grief can affect energy, behavior, and daily life.
How to support
- Listen without rushing to fix
- Ask open, supportive questions
- Check in often, even if they don’t respond
- Offer practical help (rides, meals, going to appointments)
- Validate their experience (“That sounds really painful. I’m here for you.”)
- Know crisis signs: hopelessness, talk of suicide, sudden withdrawal
Learn more:
- NAMI – Tips for How to Help a Person with Mental Illness
- NAMI - What to do in a Mental Health Crisis
- NAMI - Know the Warning Signs
- Hopkins Medicine – How to Help Someone with Anxiety
- Mayo Clinic – Helping a loved one with depression
Support groups:
When your loved one is in crisis
When your loved one is in crisis
If someone talks about harming themselves or is in severe emotional distress, get help right away.
Crisis resources
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline call, text, or chat
- Careline Alaska 1-877-266-4357
- Crisis Text Line, Text HOME to 741741
- NAMI Help Line, call 1-800-950-6264 or text ‘NAMI’ to 62640
- Talk to Siri, Hold down the talk button on your phone and say Siri - I am feeling Depressed. Siri will connect you to emergency services or someone you trust.
Encourage your loved one to use these services. You can reach out too, even if you’re unsure what to do next.